| .33 |
[12 Jan 11 @ 6:24am] |
One of my charges seems to delight in sending me every bit of internet funny that may have it in for Gandlaf.
I'm about to start a collection of these things. I think they're hilarious.
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| .31 |
[20 Oct 10 @ 3:39pm] |
Attention Agency employees:
The massive rainbow cake in the break room was a gift from my lovely daughter that I brought to share with the rest of you. Everyone who thinks gay is something to celebrate should take a slice!
And yes, before anyone asks, I am completely aware that my shoes are spray-painted purple. This was another gift from Lillie.
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| .30 -- Bollocks |
[31 Aug 10 @ 6:41pm] |
My mother came to visit this weekend. Which would have been completely fine, except I forgot one small thing.
She hadn't seen my kitchen yet.
I think my ears are still ringing. She gets so shrill when she's all worked up. I feel a bit bad for her. She's still convinced that I'll find a nice woman and settle down. Apparently, my kitchen will be what prevents me from doing that. Never mind that I'm on the backside of my thirties and gay with it. The kitchen is to blame.
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| .29 -- Hmmmm. |
[10 Aug 10 @ 10:05pm] |
Middle Earth has arrived! However, it did not come alone. What else did it bring, you ask?
My first gray hair.
I know, no one is surprised. Though you should feel free to commence with the jokes.
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| .028 -- Kaboom. |
[05 Jul 10 @ 6:39pm] |
I enjoy American holidays. They're very...rambunctious. Of course, I'm all for anything that promotes the use of fireworks.
The people within viewing distance must have enjoyed themselves. Even if I didn't have a dragon this time.
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| .027 -- Funnies. |
[30 Jun 10 @ 3:17am] |
Alex, one of my charges sent this to me, and I thought you might appreciate it as well.
( Click )
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| .026 -- Surprise. |
[18 Jun 10 @ 6:30pm] |
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WHAT HAPPENED TO MY KITCHEN?!?
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| .025 -- Magic is a fickle thing. |
[01 Jun 10 @ 11:41pm] |
I spent the weekend poking around this Diagon Alley place, just like I spent time poking around Gotham City and Sherwood. Magical phenomenon is never an easy thing to pinpoint, especially when there are a thousand other wizards around, looking at you like you're insane for carrying a staff instead of a wand. Some old woman whacked me in the knees with a cauldron and called me a 'half-wit Squib playing dress up' before continuing on her way. There are entirely too many inanimate objects that can now bite, and I walked by three blokes who were smoking. Not fags, either. They were singed from, what I assume, was a bit of magic gone wrong.
I can honestly say that I never want to go back to the place.
If I do, I think I'll leave my staff at home.
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| .024 -- [Filtered to the Agency and everyone currently in Gotham] |
[12 May 10 @ 7:26pm] |
Attention current residents of Gotham City: Please ignore the man with the staff. If he looks like he doesn't know what he's doing, he probably doesn't, and it's safer to keep your distance.
People always tend to think that throwing up their hands and declaring something magic is the easy answer.
I am here to inform these people that it is, most definitely, not the easy answer. Especially when you have been tasked with finding out what kind of magic.
You'd think any sort of magic place would have decent tea. You'd be wrong.
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| .023 -- Nom. |
[24 Apr 10 @ 6:29pm] |
To whom it may concern,
Leaving a half a pound of gummi bears in the Agency breakroom is either an elaborate trap, a treat, or a huge mistake. If it was the first one, it did not work very well. If it was the second one, thank you. And if it was the last one, I apologise, but they were delicious and I was starving, so I will happily pay you back.
Sincerely,
J. White
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| .022 -- The Affairs of Wizards |
[30 Mar 10 @ 5:53pm] |
It's got to be some form of typecasting that I always end up being the first one to speak to most new magical reincarnates. Which, you would think, makes sense. Except there are just as many different types of fictional wizards as there are fictional elves/dwarfs/people in general.
So it gets a bit tricky when I have to explain to a twelve-year-old boy that no, it's not okay to magic his best friend in to thinking he's a goat, no matter how funny it might be.
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| .021 -- Heee. |
[13 Mar 10 @ 11:26pm] |
I think I shall have another pint.
Then. Fireworks.
Thomas is a terrible influence. But he has a towel, so that must mean something. A towel in a pub. Hah.
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| .020 -- Urgh. |
[03 Mar 10 @ 6:16am] |
I have finally surfaced from my office to make this announcement:
I'm fairly certain CORE unleashed untrained monkeys in here.
Weeks later, and I'm still not sure where everything went. I'm sure some of it was destroyed, and some of it hauled off to a secure location (not that I had anything terribly important lying around, so best of luck with that) or what have you, but was it really necessary to completely rearrange everything you didn't intend to take? That's just impolite.
At least I'm almost done getting everything back in to order again. So no one should get any clever ideas about pranks to play in my newly organised office.
Thomas.
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